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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219772">Body</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literally_To_Die_For/pseuds/Literally_To_Die_For'>Literally_To_Die_For</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forgotten Dreams [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Face Like Glass - Frances Hardinge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Adult Content, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Blood, Body Paint, Body Worship, Boys in Skirts, Breakfast in Bed, Candy, Cats, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Clothing Kink, Comfort Sex, Coming Out, Dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Don't Judge Me, Don't Like Don't Read, During Canon, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Extremely Dubious Consent, Extremely Underage, Fantasy, Feminization, First Time, Fucked Up, Gender Issues, Gentle Sex, Gift Giving, Grooming, Hardcore, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insanity, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Library Sex, Love/Hate, Magic, Manipulative Relationship, Masturbation in Shower, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Miscommunication, Morning After, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Relationships, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, Naked Cuddling, Near Death Experiences, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Nonbinary Character, Not Canon Compliant, Older Man/Younger Man, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paint Kink, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Poisoning, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Relationship Problems, Rough Sex, Secret Crush, Secrets, Self Confidence Issues, Sexual Assault, Sexual Violence, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love, Slow To Update, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Sweet, Swordfighting, Teenagers, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Threats of Violence, Touch-Starved, Trans Character, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Vintner Apprentice, Wine, does fucking a girl that looks like your dead sister count as incest?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:27:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219772</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literally_To_Die_For/pseuds/Literally_To_Die_For</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Never have I met another as beautiful as you are."</i><br/> <br/> </p><p>  <i>Hearing that, I broke down in tears!</i></p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>Anor Duras, youngest child of the Facesmith family, has always been incredibly charming. </p><p> </p><p>Their voice and collection of Faces worked beautifully together, and with a slight shift in expression, they could have whatever they wanted.</p><p> </p><p>But beauty comes with a price.</p><p> </p><p>At thirteen years old, they learned this.</p><p> </p><p>Life goes on, however. And for two months, the days passed as usual. </p><p> </p><p>Until they gained an apprenticeship with a certain vintner Craftsman. </p><p> </p><p>People say lust is a kind mistress.</p><p> </p><p>They disagree.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Character/Grand Steward, Original Character/Maxim Childersin, Original Character/Original Female Character, Original character/Original Male Characters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forgotten Dreams [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Art Gallery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>WARNING: THERE WILL BE SMUT OR SMUT ELEMENTS IN EVERY CHAPTER. ALL OF THEM. PAY ATTENTION TO THE WARNINGS, PLEASE.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Adorna, darling, it's time to get up."</p><p>With a hum of acknowledgement, they sat up, their features sliding easily into Face #279, 'Sunlight Streaming Through Cracked Glass'.</p><p>Their mother left the room, and they got to work.</p><p>Ripped from their peaceful rest and thrust into cold wakefulness, they busied themself with dressing, feeling the fuzzy haze of sleep wear off as the seconds passed.</p><p>They pulled on a velvet red dress, one that hugged their developing curves just enough to border on inappropriate, thin white shoes, made of satin, and pale stockings.</p><p>Their hair didn't need much assistance, and they left it alone. Occasionally, they ran a brush through the bottom curls, twisting the locks around the end.</p><p>Finally, they clipped a string of pearls around their neck, pulling on silk gloves to top it all off.</p><p>Their mother awaited in the hallway, and they walked in silence. Once in the sedan, their mother managed conversation. "Me and your father have been discussing apprenticeship opportunities for you." Her Face was warm and kind, giving the impression that she was listening intently to a story you had to tell, as though she were nodding encouragements whenever you paused.</p><p>"Have you decided?" Their Face remained the same even as they spoke. Of course it did, Faces don't change on their own. </p><p>Not in Caverna.</p><p>"We've selected and arranged for you to meet with a few people, but have decided to leave the decision up to you."</p><p>A nod. </p><p>"Very well. One of these people will be a Facesmith, I assume?"</p><p>"Vesperta Appleline."</p><p>They quirked an eyebrow, now incredibly curious. "Appleline? I thought you hated her. She's not a friend of our family, I know that."</p><p>"Indeed she isn't. But Vesperta is very eager to meet you, and connections with her could greatly improve our current situation. As I said, it will be left up to you when the time comes."</p><p>"And what of the other choices?"</p><p>"The first is Arran Mannox."</p><p>"The painter?"</p><p>"Correct."</p><p>"And what business would I have apprenticing with a Court entertainer?"</p><p>Their mother's Face switched to one of subtle pride and motherly adoration, apparently pleased with their answer. "You have a love for music, correct? Apprenticing with someone affiliated with big names in the industry would surely help your experience grow."</p><p>"Hm .  .  . I suppose you're right. Well, what of the rest?"</p><p>"There are two other options. Zane Everett, and Maxim Childersin."

</p><p>".  .  . You contacted a Childersin?"</p><p>"Your father did. He said it'd be a good opportunity for you to enhance your skills at calming and creating True Wines. Having a vintner in the family would be useful for future moves in the Court."</p><p>They were silent, nodding. She took that as a sign to continue.</p><p>"Zane will, if you so choose, teach you script. Writing is one of the greatest joys in Caverna, and is especially popular this time of year."</p><p>"I'll think about it. I'd like to go through the meetings with each before making a decision, if you would allow it?"</p><p>"Of course. Take the time you need, but do not intentionally put this off."</p><p>"I assure you, one or two meetings is all I will need. I doubt it'll take the rest of the year to finish."</p><p>Their mother's Face shifted again, and a hand smoothed their hair. "I always knew you'd grow up to be something special, my dear. And you've grown up well. They'll all love you, I'm sure."</p><p>The ride continued in silence, until they slowed to a stop. Hand in hand with their mother, they strolled into an elaborate art gallery, fingers trailing across the walls.</p><p>A figure entered through a hidden door beyond their sight, and they froze in place.</p><p>The man that entered had been, of course, Arran Mannox.</p><p>Anor, absolutely stunned, did not even have time to change their expression before he stood in front of them. Dark, tousled hair fell in short strands, occasionally falling in his face. Deep green eyes stared into their soul, and he wore Face #143, 'At Death's Gate'.</p><p>After an eternity of silence, he spoke, though to her mother. "So, this is Miss Adorna? I must say, she's very pretty."</p><p>A smooth, pale hand reached out and caressed their face, brushing strands of strawberry blonde hair out of their eyes.</p><p>They didn't move.</p><p>The adults conversed for a time, and then, all too soon, their mother was gone. "I've to go," she said, "there's a very important meeting that's been called for the Master Craftsmen. Have fun dear, I'll be back when I'm done."</p><p>They had waved, then, but remained silent. It wasn't that they weren't excited, quite the contrary. They were thrilled to be there, alone, with this alluring and strange person.</p><p>They weren't sure what they had been expecting him to be like, but it wasn't this.</p><p>The hours sped by like seconds, and gradually, their comfort grew. But by the fifteenth hour, their tired daze began to return.</p><p>They weren't sure what happened next, snapping back to focus only when they were asked a question.</p><p>"Your mother still hasn't returned, and I'm worried you'll be out of clock if you stay awake too much longer. Stay here for the night, it's safer than wandering the tunnels alone. Especially with someone so," he had paused to caress their face again, "beautiful."</p><p>And then the blurryness was back.</p><p>They couldn't really register what was going on, and barely felt most of the gentle touches. Being picked up, being set on a bed, their clothing being carefully removed.</p><p>They didn't notice any of it, until something hard and cold prodded their entrance.</p><p>It slipped between their folds, and they squirmed at the discomfort. Vaguely, they remembered learning about this. It was supposed to feel good, right?</p><p>It didn't feel good.</p><p>It hurt.</p><p>It was cold.</p><p>None of it felt good.</p><p>And yet some part of their body found this at least partly pleasureful, as small whimpers escaped their lips. But that was the only sound they would make.</p><p>It was quiet.</p><p>So painfully quiet.</p><p>Lips pressed against their skin, feather-light kisses pressing where they landed.</p><p>And then, agony.</p><p>Something long, hard, and thick had begun pressing itself into their tiny body, sending waves of pain and alarms through their mind. But exhaustion had it's hold on them, and as such they could only make a pitiful effort to protest before their voice gave way to whimpers of pain and the occasional, very rare, moan.</p><p>This didn't feel good.</p><p>This wasn't right.</p><p>They wanted to go home.</p><p>Why wasn't their mother there?</p><p>A cold liquid was spread across their chest, and when they dared crack an eye open, they discovered it to be paint. Blue as the deadly, horrifyingly beautiful sky beyond the mountain.</p><p>Red was added to the mix, then, and green. It was as though he was painting, using their body as a canvas.</p><p>They found the sensation to be unpleasant, but judging from the increased groans from the man above them, he was enjoying seeing it.</p><p>Their body shook and trembled with each movement, no matter how gentle, tears streaming down their face. Their expression did not change, they had not the mind nor will to do so, and yet pain filled their mind.</p><p>Pain, and an overwhelming sense of wrongness.</p><p>Then, very abruptly, the pressure was gone.</p><p>White splattered across their front, hot and sticky.</p><p>They didn't look at it this time.</p><p>Their body fell limp, warm arms wrapping around their middle. They gave no reaction, in a daze and unsure if this was real.</p><p>It couldn't be.</p><p>No.</p><p>No, they had to be dreaming.</p><p>That didn't just happen.</p><p>.  .  .</p><p>They were lifted again, and placed under a gentle stream of warm water. It got traces of the drying paint off their chest, but the rest was carefully scrubbed away by Arran.</p><p>All the while, Anor remained still and unresponsive.</p><p>Blood dripped from between their legs, and he took special care to be extra gentle with the sore and damaged area.</p><p>Soap was scrubbed onto their body, in their hair, and everywhere else. Their eyes stayed glossy, distant and unseeing.</p><p>Half an hour later they were dried, dressed in the clothes they had arrived in, and laid back in the warm bed. A blanket was lifted over them, laying against their sore, damp body and causing both great comfort and mild discomfort, though mostly due to the position.</p><p>Fingers ran through their hair, untangling the curls with striking care.</p><p>When sleep finally took them into her embrace, they welcomed her with open arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Library</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>"Smells like citrus and .  .  .</i><br/> </p>
<p> <br/><i>Cinnamon."</i></p>
<p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p>
<p>Their eyes flitted around the room, blankly scanning over the multi colored covers of the shelved books.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They didn't say a word. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"She's not usually like this," they heard their mother say, "I'm hoping her getting to see something new will help. Try to make this meeting pleasant, we'll discuss pay later."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>DISASSOCIATION<br/>NON-CON<br/>UNDERAGE<br/>UNDERAGE DRUG USE</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a week before they snapped, partially, out of the zombie-like state they had been in. </p>
<p>And when they did, they were greeted with a library. </p>
<p>Their eyes flitted around the room, blankly scanning over the multi colored covers of the shelved books.</p>
<p>They didn't say a word. </p>
<p>"She's not usually like this," they heard their mother say, "I'm hoping her getting to see something new will help. Try to make this meeting pleasant, we'll discuss pay later."</p>
<p>Another voice responded, and when they bothered go look over, their eyes met those of Zane Everett. </p>
<p>They didn't blush as they had with Arran, though their expression shifted into a look of polite, wordless acknowledgement.</p>
<p>He looked away.</p>
<p>They did as well.</p>
<p>Their mother kissed their forehead, wearing the same attentive face as before. "I'll be back to pick you up in an hour, dear. I love you."</p>
<p>They nodded, watching with dull eyes as she disappeared, leaving them alone. </p>
<p>A drink was thrust into their hands. "Take it," a gruff voice commanded. "You look like you need it."</p>
<p>Without saying a word, they look a long sip, swallowing carefully.</p>
<p>Zane took their hand, leading them to a desk with ink, a quill, and paper. He sat across from them, and began to speak. </p>
<p>The lesson continued for twenty minutes, before a fuzzy sort of feeling rose in their chest. They gripped the table as a wave of heat washed through their body. </p>
<p>Calloused hands rubbed circles into their back, muttering words of encouragement and comfort.</p>
<p>It did nothing to soothe them, and if anything made it worse.</p>
<p>"Calm down," the voice was saying. "It's fine."</p>
<p>They did not, in fact, want to calm down. </p>
<p>But it sounded so nice and that voice was so convincing. They gave in, slumping backwards into a warm, tight embrace.</p>
<p>Fingers slid down their dress, tracing cold lines across their breasts. </p>
<p>They winced, not in pain, but in heavy discomfort.</p>
<p>Something about that was wrong. Nasty, twisted, and utterly horrific.</p>
<p>And yet they didn't stop the hands from undoing the buttons, pulling down their dress and leggings. They didn't stop the lips from pressing to their skin. </p>
<p>And even as the fingers drew closer to that one area, a place they couldn't even think about without almost bursting into tears, they made no protests.</p>
<p>Their eyes were glassy, devoid of emotion. As the assault on their body continued, they began to watch from an outside perspective, watching their body move while they remained a mere viewer. </p>
<p>It was fascinating, and terrifying.</p>
<p>Not that they minded. </p>
<p>Anything was better than feeling it happen. </p>
<p>Anything.</p>
<p>It ended ten minutes later.</p>
<p>They were cleaned up, set back in the little wooden chair, and told to wait. Their Face had stayed the same, remaining one of polite interest and mild acknowledgement of other people.</p>
<p>But it was fake.</p>
<p>Of course it was.</p>
<p>Everything hurt when their mother picked them up a few minutes later. They didn't say a word, watching their body silently move through the motions as normal, seeing what was pretty much their own self go through their life. </p>
<p>As they lay in bed that night, wondering where it all went wrong, two warm arms snaked around their middle. Their first instinct was to jolt away, their Face changing to one of panicked concern. </p>
<p>They paused when they saw it was just their sister. </p>
<p>".  .  . You really need to stop doing that."</p>
<p>She didn't speak, pulling them down into bed and wrapping the covers around them both. </p>
<p>Locked in a warm, loving embrace, they smiled.</p>
<p>And, for the first time in weeks, they slept well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Apple Pie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"If they say that I'm a God,"</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> <br/>  <i>that's what I am!"</i></p>
<p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p>
<p>How long had it been, since they had left their room?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their face hurt, it was hard keeping the same Face day in and day out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But they didn't change it. They didn't want to change it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>MENTIONS OF DISASSOCIATION<br/>MENTIONS OF RAPE/NON-CON<br/>INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHES (NO ACTUAL SEX IN THIS CHAPTER)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Slowly, hesitantly, their eyes cracked open. They were greeted with their bedroom ceiling, and let out a relieved sigh.</p>
<p>They weren't sure what they had been expecting to see.</p>
<p>What time was it?</p>
<p>How long had it been, since they had left their room?</p>
<p>Their face hurt, it was hard keeping the same Face day in and day out.</p>
<p>But they didn't change it. They didn't want to change it.</p>
<p>A knock on the door startled them from their thoughts, and they sat up to listen. "Adorna, sweetheart, please talk to me. I want to know what's going on with you."</p>
<p>They paused, sighed, and then unlocked the door.</p>
<p>When their mother stepped in, her first instinct was to wrap them in a gentle hug. They visibly flinched, body tensing painfully.</p>
<p>She let go.</p>
<p>"Why don't we sit down? I can grab drinks, and we can have a proper conversation."</p>
<p>Anor shook their head, finally speaking. Their voice cracked from underuse, but it was audible enough. </p>
<p>"No, it's .  .  . It's fine. Nothing's wrong, I've just felt sick these past few days. I feel better now."</p>
<p>Their features smoothly transitioned into Face #816, 'A Child's Undying Loyalty'. The kind of Face that made people listen to you. It wasn't an overly pretty Face, just the right kind of normal to seem believable.</p>
<p>Almost reluctantly, their mother nodded. "Alright. I'm glad you feel better, but it's unfortunate that you fell ill so soon. However, since you feel alright, should we continue with the scheduled meeting? You're supposed to meet with Madame Appleline today."</p>
<p>They sighed, but figured she was nice enough. Surely she wouldn't hurt them like the others did.</p>
<p>"We can continue with it. I must admit, I look forward to meeting her."</p>
<p>And then they were alone again.</p>
<p>They dressed in the same fashion as they had the first time, wearing a different dress. Green satin, this time. The shoes remained the same. </p>
<p>Their hair was tied into a loose braid, a few strands falling loose every now and then. </p>
<p>They met with their mother outside, and, unlike last time, they walked. "Appleline doesn't live far, it would be far too much work not to walk."</p>
<p>"Mother, I have to ask. Why am I not going through the Putty Girl process of apprenticeship? Why is it a direct meeting?"</p>
<p>"You're already part of a Facesmith family. You've been trained to do much of what a Putty Girl can."</p>
<p>"Hm. Alright."</p>
<p>They arrived, and their mother led them inside. A Putty Girl arrived to greet them, leading them to a waiting area. "Madame Appleline is a bit busy right now, but she'll be ready to meet with you in a moment."</p>
<p>Their mother planted a kiss to their forehead. "You wait here for her, I'll try to pick you up sooner than last time."</p>
<p>They just nodded.</p>
<p>And she was gone.</p>
<p>Eventually, a tall woman with a heart-shaped face came into the area, slanted green eyes scanning until they landed upon Anor. </p>
<p>"Ah, you must be Miss Adorna."</p>
<p>Hearing her speak their name made them internally cringe, but they nodded.</p>
<p>She gave a warm, motherly smile, and for a moment they felt as though she were the safest person in the world. As though they could trust her with anything.</p>
<p>"You've already had some Facesmith training, so I'll just need you to help me with adding finishing touches to a new Face I'm designing."</p>
<p>She took their hand, and they were led into a back room.</p>
<p>For a time, things were fine. They helped add a hint of contemplation, blended in dry amusement, and topped it all off with a pinch, and no more, of concern. </p>
<p>They even got to pick the name, and chose 'For A Friend'. </p>
<p>Every now and then, Appleline would snake her hands around their wrist, or caress their hair. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but they learned to tune it out. </p>
<p>And then her hands slipped down their dress. </p>
<p>They jerked away, scrambling backward.</p>
<p>Her Face changed to an apologetic smile. "Ah, I apologise. I wasn't aware that would cause you such a shock. Let us continue working."</p>
<p>And so they did. </p>
<p>But they made it a point to keep a close eye on her hands, and stay as far away from them as possible.</p>
<p>Their mother came to pick them up ten minutes later, and hand in hand they walked back home. </p>
<p>On the way, their mother spoke. "How was it? Did you have fun?"</p>
<p>"It wasn't particularly enjoyable, but I did not dislike the experience."</p>
<p>"Did something happen?"</p>
<p>They took a deep breath, and .  .  . Lied. </p>
<p>"She wasn't the nicest, and turned out to be very snappy and rude. I'm sure today was just a stressful day, but I don't think I'll be going back to her."</p>
<p>Their mother nodded. "I understand. I'll have a talk with her about it."</p>
<p>There was no further conversation.</p>
<p>When they were back in the safety of their room, they slid down the wall, put their head in their knees,</p>
<p>And sobbed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. To Remember</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>"'Do not enter' is written on the doorway."</i><br/> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>Why can't everyone just go away .  .  .</i></p>
<p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p>
<p>"Adorna .  .  . We need to talk. I'm worried about you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Alright, what are you intending we speak about?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What happened at Vesperta's?"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>IMPLIED/REFERENCED SELF HARM<br/>MENTIONS OF INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was something strange about the way the metal glittered, freshly crafted by the best of the best. </p>
<p>It was enchanting.</p>
<p>And when it pressed to their skin, they felt free. </p>
<p>But their freedom was interrupted when their mother called them to dinner. </p>
<p>"Your father isn't going to join us for another hour."</p>
<p>They nodded, silent. Their mother wasn't satisfied, and gave a long, exhausted sigh. </p>
<p>"Adorna .  .  . We need to talk. I'm worried about you."</p>
<p>"Alright, what are you intending we speak about?"</p>
<p>"What happened at Vesperta's?"</p>
<p>Their silence said all she needs to know. </p>
<p>"She did something to you, didn't she?"</p>
<p>Memories of the warm touch came rushing back, along with the feeling of disgust, anger, and pain.</p>
<p>"I .  .  . No, nothing happened. She was rude and irritable, but nothing was done."</p>
<p>They reached into their pocket, subtly splashing Perfume on their fingertips. It was the kind that made people believe what you had to say. </p>
<p>As though you were their God. Their one and only, the person who knew best. </p>
<p>Their mother nodded at last. </p>
<p>"Very well. Eat, at least. It's been a few days since I've gotten to sit down and eat dinner with you."</p>
<p>They are in silence, and when their plate was empty, they disappeared into their room. </p>
<p>They didn't know what happened, then.</p>
<p>Just that the pain went away. </p>
<p>And it felt okay again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Love Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"There's a place downtown,</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>where the freaks all come around."</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>And when they paused, a hand, gentle and soft, lifted their chin. They smiled, leaning into the warmth and closing their eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"You really are a beauty. It's so horrible what happened to you."</p><p> </p><p>They could only hum, sighing. This was nice. It felt better than before. It felt .  .  . Good.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING (ALSO NO SEX IN THIS ONE)<br/>PRAISE<br/>UNDERAGE ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION<br/>KISSING/BORDERLINE MAKING OUT<br/>JUST A BUNCH OF WEIRD SEXUAL STUFF</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their head was clear as ever by the time the morning came. </p><p>At least, they assumed it was morning. </p><p>Their clock read that it was around the fifth hour or so, which was pretty early.</p><p>Their eyes closed for a moment, reopening much brighter.</p><p>Swinging their legs over the side of the bed, they dressed in a very automatic fashion.</p><p>White silk gloves and dress.</p><p>White shoes.</p><p>White fur coat.</p><p>They looked almost angelic, dressed in such a pure color. </p><p>It didn't match how they felt.</p><p>A month. That's how long it had been since they had been in an apprentice meeting.</p><p>And now they were to meet with Maxim Childersin, renowned vintner and Master Craftsman.</p><p>The journey there was long, and utterly silent. Not a word was spoken. They shifted through a few Faces, settling on #725, 'Evening Star'. A Face of eagerness, one that shined with bright, childlike joy and excitement.</p><p>Finally, they arrived. This time, they entered alone. Servants greeted them with blank, faintly smiling Faces, taking their coat and leading them to a sealed laboratory.</p><p>They knocked, and very suddenly came face to face with Maxim Childersin, dazzling smile and all. </p><p>"Ah, there you are! I was wondering when you'd arrive."</p><p>His voice was smooth and incredibly charming, but Anor was no stranger to these sorts of things. They brushed off the tone, tuning out the charm. </p><p>"I apologise for my late arrival, we ran into some traffic on the way."</p><p>He took their hand, leading them inside the laboratory and closing the door. But it remained unlocked.</p><p>Regardless if it was meant to make them comfortable or not, the fact that they could open the door at any time eased their nerves, and they visibly relaxed. </p><p>"True Wines are fickle things," he began, "and they have a nasty habit of turning on their masters, especially when introduced to new people. What I'm going to do today is introduce you to a few tamer Wines, and get them familiar with your presence."</p><p>They were instructed over to a circle of chalk sigils, in the middle of which sat a barrel of almost finished Applebrough. It hissed as they drew close, but calmed at Maxims soothing incantations.</p><p>"Don't step too close to it. It's one of the tamer Wines I have, but is very capable of ripping both of us to shreds. Stay out of the circle, it'll get used to you being here eventually."</p><p>And indeed it did. But when they scooted just a bit closer, out of curiosity and habit, it reeled back in surprise, shaking. </p><p>Startled, they panicked, doing the first thing that came to mind. </p><p>They wrapped their arms around the nearest object, and hid their face. </p><p>The object they had chosen to cling to was, funnily enough, the very man they had entered with. Rather than appear disgusted or even surprised, he placed a hand on their head, running his fingers through their hair. </p><p>The Wine was calmed after a moment of silence, and Anor dared look at what they were holding. </p><p>The blush that covered their face was as red as the apples in one of the wall paintings.</p><p>Maxim laughed, though waited for them fo separate rather than do anything himself. And when they did, he gave them that familiar, gentle smile.</p><p>They looked away, but didn't seem bothered.</p><p>"How about we sit down for a moment? I can see being around an untamed Wine has got you anxious, which is never good when working with True Wines."</p><p>Already, he was pouring two drinks, setting them on a little corner table. They sat down, sipping cautiously, as if hesitant to drink any.</p><p>When they didn't react, and no heat spread through their body, they were convinced it was alright to drink.</p><p>They took another sip.</p><p>Maxim was sat across from them, bending slightly so they were at eye level. "So, what I want to know is why I can tense such tension with you. You hesitated before drinking."</p><p>Feeling oddly open to conversation, Anor began to speak. They detailed every little bit of what had been done. All the words that had been spoken, all the measures taken to make sure they would submit.</p><p>All of it.</p><p>And when they paused, a hand, gentle and soft, lifted their chin. They smiled, leaning into the warmth and closing their eyes. </p><p>"You really are a beauty. It's so horrible what happened to you."</p><p>They could only hum, sighing. This was nice. It felt better than before. It felt .  .  . Good.</p><p>This response apparently pleased Maxim, who, at some point in the conversation, had moved so that he was standing in front of them. They were suddenly standing too, but didn't mind. </p><p>Very, very slowly, a pair of lips pressed to theirs. Rather than protest, back away, or exclaim that this was wrong, they leaned into it, arms searching for some kind of hold. </p><p>They found it. </p><p>Suddenly Maxim had pulled away, and their positions were changed again. They were sitting down, resting on his lap. It should've been uncomfortable, but they didn't think about that. It felt too good, they felt so loved. </p><p>Why?</p><p>There was no time to question further, because the lips were back, this time with a bit more force. They responded as best they could, using what prior knowledge they had to match his movements. </p><p>Their side of it was thick with inexperience and confusion, but also some twisted sense of want.</p><p>A full minute later, and they were pulled away from. </p><p>Their eyes were still closed.</p><p>The hand traced their chin, slipping further down and caressing their most secret spots. It did not go through their clothing, but the sheer intensity of the touch was enough. </p><p>"You're doing so well," a smooth voice whispered, and as the words met their ears they squeezed their eyes tighter, fighting the urge to do, well, anything.</p><p>"Such a good girl."</p><p>Oh God, that was wonderful. </p><p>How long had it been since they felt so good?</p><p>They didn't know.</p><p>And they didn't care. </p><p>Until a knock at the door. </p><p>"Miss Adorna? Your mother's here." </p><p>They nodded, finally calming. Neither said a word as they fixed up their dress, made sure everything was as perfect as it had been when they arrived, and disappeared through the door.</p><p>Once home, they found themself sitting at the dinner table again. This time, there was a certain bounce in their step, and their smile seemed far more genuine. </p><p>"So, have you made a decision yet?"</p><p>Before they could respond, their mother interrupted. </p><p>"Nevermind that, it doesn't matter at the moment. We'll discuss it when your father gets home. There are more important matters to discuss, ones that do not include your father or sister."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Did you have sex with Arran Mannox and Zane Everett?"</p><p>"I- what?"</p><p>Her Face was one of anger now, all traces of motherly warmth gone. </p><p>"Answer the question, Adorna."</p><p>"I- I didn't mean to, they took- I was trying to- please, I didn't want to-"</p><p>Their rambling ceased when they met their mother's eyes. There was no love in them. No sympathy or understanding, not even some twisted form of pity.</p><p>In them, they found disgust. Disgust, anguish, and utter rage. </p><p>"First I lose your sister, and now this?" She muttered, visibly restraining herself from lashing out at them. </p><p>"W-what?"</p><p>"Do not say a word, young lady!"</p><p>Her harshness startled them just enough that they were momentarily silenced, and then they cleared their throat. </p><p>"Mother, what do you-"</p><p>"Get out."</p><p>They stopped, frozen in place. Their silence irritated their mother, and she slammed her hands on the wooden table. </p><p>"Out! You love them enough to dishonor our family name, you can go live with them! I don't want to see you in this house again. You are no longer my daughter."</p><p>And as they saw the anger in her eyes, the force of her voice, they ran. </p><p>They ran and ran and didn't stop running until they couldn't see their house. </p><p>No, it wasn't theirs anymore.</p><p>It wouldn't be, not ever again. </p><p>And as their breath returned, as the pounding in their chest slowed, a thought came to mind. </p><p>They took off sprinting, ignoring the tears streaming down their face. </p><p>It'd be alright.</p><p>It had to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Safe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"All I want is love that lasts,</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>is all I want too much to ask?"</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>A soothing voice met their ears, and they couldn't help the relief that flooded their mind. </p><p> </p><p>"What happened?"</p><p> </p><p>"I- Mother, she - I can't go back .  .  ."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>FOREHEAD AND CHEEK KISSES<br/>(STILL NO ACTUAL SEX. IT'S A VERY SOFT CHAPTER)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was cold.</p><p>Their legs hurt.</p><p>They were crying. </p><p>And yet they kept running.</p><p>They didn't stop until they were in front of the door to the Childersin residence. They knocked until the door was opened, and then dashed inside. </p><p>And then they kept running. </p><p>And running.</p><p>Until they ran into the arms of Maxim Childersin. Only then did they stop, and even then their tears didn't subside.</p><p>A soothing voice met their ears, and they couldn't help the relief that flooded their mind. </p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>"I- Mother, she - I can't go back .  .  ."</p><p>He was silent for a long, long while.</p><p>"I see," Maxim said at last. "I'm assuming she has disowned you?"</p><p>"She .  .  . She said I wasn't her daughter anymore."</p><p>A hand tangled in their hair, and their sons increased tenfold.</p><p>"It's alright, you're safe here. You can stay with my family. Does that sound alright?"</p><p>They wouldn't dare refuse.</p><p>A light kiss was planted to the top of their head, and when they finally dried their tears, to their cheek. </p><p>"You're alright," he whispered, "don't worry about her ever again."</p><p>And who were they to argue?</p><p>Exhaustion caught up with them, seizing them in her hold. Rather than fight it, they relaxed, yawning. </p><p>They were led to a bedroom, and told it was a spare guest room that was now their own. </p><p>Everything was okay. </p><p>They were safe. </p><p>They didn't need to worry anymore. </p><p>And yet, as sleep guided them into a dream, they bothered to think about what their mother had said.</p><p>What .  .  . What happened to their sister?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"I may not live to see our glory,</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>but I will gladly join the fight."</i></p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>"You're beautiful. You know that, right?"</p><p> </p><p>They hummed, snuggling into the blankets.</p><p> </p><p>A hand tangled in their hair, and they were hit with such a rush of memories that they completely froze.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>SELF HARM SCARS<br/>PRAISE<br/>SOFT SEX<br/>TALKS OF CHARACTER DEATH<br/>THIS IS <b>ALL CONSENTUAL</b>. DON'T GET USED TO IT, YOU WON'T SEE IT MUCH MORE AFTER THIS.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Living with the Childersin family turned out to be very strange. They all woke up at the same time, lived by a 24-hour clock rather than the standard 25, and were perfectly in sync all the time.</p><p>But Anor didn't mind. They weren't one to interact with much of the family, save for the occasional hello, and of course the conversations in the Morning Room.</p><p>Other than that, they kept well enough to themself.</p><p>It had been three years since Maxim had first offered them shelter, three years since they had accepted.</p><p>And in those three years, they had been offered -and had accepted- an apprenticeship with none other than their savior.</p><p>Things were going well.</p><p>Their only regret was that it took so long to discover what happened to their sister, which they discovered at fifteen. Apparently, she had been trampled in a traffic accident.</p><p>It took a while for them to get over that.</p><p>Also within the three year period, they had finally discovered what it meant to feel disgusted and pained by feminine pronouns, and dislike your name.</p><p>Apparently that wasn't something everyone did.</p><p>And so they changed it. </p><p>Settled on the name 'Anor', started going by they/them, the works. They had never minded their body, not to an extreme extent, though it did occasionally bother them to look down and see breasts rather than a flat surface. And, as such, didn't feel the need to change it.</p><p>When they entered Maxim's laboratory that afternoon, despite the fact that they had their own to work in, they were greeted with a smile. </p><p>"Ah, I was hoping you'd show up."</p><p>They couldn't help but smile, their Face shifting a few times. </p><p>"Why's that?"</p><p>He didn't look up from his work, which consisted of adding finishing touches to a fresh chalk circle, but continued speaking. </p><p>"Well, today's your birthday, correct?"</p><p>"Yes, it is."</p><p>Finally satisfied that the sigils would keep the Wine in check, he stood and turned to face them. No longer was the height difference so blatantly obvious and irritating, they know stood at close to eye level, though Maxim was a few inches taller.</p><p>"I'd like to give you something."</p><p>Now that got them curious.</p><p>"And what might that be?"</p><p>Just like many times before, their lips were pressed together. But unlike before, he pulled away all too suddenly.</p><p>"Not here," he was muttering, gently taking their hand</p><p>The family have a few strange looks as they passed, but none dared question what was going on. It wasn't as if they were entirely clueless, it was just better not to ask.</p><p>Still rather dazed and startled, they didn't notice the place they were being led to until they arrived.</p><p>And then they understood.</p><p>It was a bedroom. </p><p>They snorted, oddly flattered. Their laughter was interrupted by another kiss, slightly rougher. Their lips parted almost instinctively, and they soon found themself laying on a bed of warm blankets and pillows. </p><p>It was, admittedly, softer than expected.</p><p>Hands slid up their shirt, undoing the buttons on the fabric very, very slowly. Not teasingly slow, but cautiously slow.</p><p>Their leggings came next, falling with ease and being tossed to the ground. </p><p>They weren't really sure what happened after that, just that without thinking, they started blocking things out. </p><p>They were snapped back to reality by a hand gently tapping their face. They hummed, questioning.</p><p>"Are you alright, do we need to stop?"</p><p>"No! No, no, it's fine. I'm okay."</p><p>Apparently not fully convinced, Maxim captured their lips in a gentle kiss, which they responded to by curling their fingers through his hair. </p><p>Oh, this felt wonderful.</p><p>They felt loved.</p><p>It's lovely.</p><p>Sure, the stickiness of their skin was mildly annoying, and the feeling in their lower body was uncomfortable at first, but then it all felt good. </p><p>.  .  .</p><p>Jeez, they really were fucked up. </p><p>Faint words of praise reached their ears as fingers traced across scars of the past, from a time not so long ago.</p><p>It was over too soon, in their opinion. </p><p>They would've liked it much better had it not ended so quick. </p><p>But then again, they weren't looking at the clock, so who knew how much time had passed?</p><p>"You're beautiful. You know that, right?"</p><p>They hummed, snuggling into the blankets.</p><p>A hand tangled in their hair, and they were hit with such a rush of memories that they completely froze.</p><p>But they weren't all bad memories. Some were good, some they liked.</p><p>Most of them, not so much. </p><p>And the the arms curled around their waist, a face pressing into the crook of their neck.</p><p>And it felt alright again.</p><p>But .  .  . Only for a moment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"Let's go below zero,</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>and hide from the sun."</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>Zouelle's Face was very big-sisterly, despite the fact they were nearly the same age. She stared with calculating eyes, and they met her gaze.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, she continued her sentence.</p><p> </p><p>"Why has Uncle Maxim taken such an interest in you?"</p><p> </p><p>They didn't have an answer.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>TALKS OF MINOR/ADULT RELATIONSHIP<br/>MENTIONS OF SELF HARM SCARS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zouelle hadn't been around as much anymore. </p><p>They caught the occasional glimpse of her during breakfast, and sometimes brought her trinkets from their trips outside. But for the most part, she just wasn't around.</p><p>They were getting worried.</p><p>And so it came as quite a shock when, during the Morning Room conversation, she requested to speak with them.</p><p>Privately.</p><p>Anor, greatly confused, followed to her laboratory, which appeared to be the most private place they could speak in. </p><p>When the door had been locked and the Wines reassured, even after three years some were not used to Anor's presence, Zouelle turned to face them.</p><p>Her tone was level and calm, almost kindly, even as she looked away and began walking around the room. </p><p>"You know," she began, "we haven't spoken often. Though you've been here for years."</p><p>"Indeed we haven't."</p><p>She hummed, tracing her fingers across a painting. It was of a vineyard, so realistic that you could almost feel the heat of the sun, see every little drop of dew on the grapes, and taste their bittersweetness.</p><p>It was a beautiful painting.</p><p>"There's something I've been meaning to ask you."</p><p>"And what might that be?"</p><p>She did not respond immediately, taking a long pause. </p><p>"I've begun to notice that my uncle spends a great deal of time with you. A bit too much to not be noticed. So, what I mean to ask is,"</p><p>She turned to face them.</p><p>Zouelle's Face was very big-sisterly, despite the fact they were nearly the same age. She stared with calculating eyes, and they met her gaze.</p><p>Finally, she continued her sentence.</p><p>"Why has Uncle Maxim taken such an interest in you?"</p><p>They didn't have an answer.</p><p>She looked away, and gave an utterly charming laugh. </p><p>"I expected you'd have no answer. Well, I think I know why he likes you so much. Do you want to know?"</p><p>They couldn't help but nod.</p><p>The two of them were standing face to face, now, cold blue staring into emerald green.</p><p>"You're very .  .  . Attractive."</p><p>They blinked, not exactly confused, but startled.</p><p>"It's human nature, really, to be attracted to pretty things," she was saying, "And I'm not particularly surprised. For the entire day after you left, he talked about you."</p><p>"What I am surprised about," her fingers traced their skin, lingering on their side, "is that you said yes so easily. Sound travels fast in the tunnels, you know."</p><p>They blushed, red as a tomato. Zouelle did not notice, or didn't care, as she continued without mentioning this. "Now, one does not say no to Uncle Maxim, that is true. But most do not say yes as willingly as you did, not without use of Perfume."</p><p>Her touch lingered even as she pulled away, and they fought the urge to rub at the spot until it bled. That would be both uncomfortable, and risk opening old scars. </p><p>They'd much rather not bleed out, thank you very much.</p><p>She finally turned away, leaving them stunned. "That is all I wanted to speak to you about. I'll be here if you need me, but I'm working on a very important Wine, so I'd appreciate not being interrupted."</p><p>"Alright. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I suppose."</p><p>"You're quite welcome."</p><p>And then they left, feeling entirely drained, and oddly saddened. It wasn't as if they didn't know if their attractiveness, in fact they had for a long while. No, that wasn't what had really bothered them. </p><p>Maxim had said, many times, that he loved them. Even with their scars, even with their differing identity. He had sworn that he really did care, and that this wasn't just about .  .  . That. </p><p>And they had believed it. </p><p>Still did.</p><p>But now, they were questioning if that was true. </p><p>.  .  .</p><p>They'd talk with him later. </p><p>They needed to clear their head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>"Touch me,</i><br/> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>love me .  .  ."</i></p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>"I know, I know. But I love you, and I want to show you that."</p><p> </p><p>Everything in them screamed to get away. To push back at the hands undoing their shirt, to get out and never look back.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, they whimpered, but their movements ceased.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR (Saying 'But I love you', 'it'll feel good' etc)<br/>DUB-CON<br/>CRYING<br/>SLIGHT OVERSTIMULATION</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were standing in front of a familiar door, one they had stood before many times. </p><p>Their hand hovered just above the wood, as though hesitating. And indeed they were, wondering if this was such a good idea.</p><p>They decided it was, and knocked. </p><p>The door opened in an instant, and they took the opportunity to step inside. </p><p>"Ah, it's just you."</p><p>"Mhm."</p><p>The door closed, and they didn't miss the faint click of the lock. </p><p>"I wanted to talk to you."</p><p>"About?"</p><p>" .  .  . Do you love me?"</p><p>His Face changed to a confused, and slightly saddened one. "Of course I do."</p><p>"All of me?"</p><p>Rather than answering, Maxim raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"What is the purpose of this?"</p><p>"I want to know if you love me for more than what I look like."</p><p>Very suddenly, his Face changed, switching to #165 'Rose Bud Blooming In Winter Snow'. A warm, loving Face. One that spoke of undying adoration and neverending love. </p><p>"Absolutely," he purred, brushing a strand of hair out of their face. Slowly, they were backed up until their back hit soft blankets, a bed of warmth that they knew all too well.</p><p>Like many nights before, they were in a familiar position. But tonight was different. They didn't want to do this, this wasn't what they came in here for. </p><p>They wanted to talk. </p><p>Feeling soft lips press against their neck, Anor scrambled to find something to hold onto, and their hands found purchase in Maxim's blonde hair.</p><p>They tried tugging at the strands, praying it would be enough to at least pause what was going on.</p><p>Finally finding their voice, they let out a breathless plea.</p><p>"I don't want- not right now .  .  ."</p><p>"I know, I know. But I love you, and I want to show you that."</p><p>Everything in them screamed to get away. To push back at the hands undoing their shirt, to get out and never look back.</p><p>Instead, they whimpered, but their movements ceased.</p><p>The cold bit into their skin as their shirt was thrown out to the side, but that cold was replaced with heat as the kisses traveled further down, leaving the occasional mark on their way.</p><p>They squirmed and bit their lip, silencing any potential noises.</p><p>Their pants were next, and there was such a rush of searing heat, such a sudden flash of shock, that they let out a high-pitched moan. </p><p>Fingers slid into their entrance with embarrassing ease, spreading the slick folds in preparation. </p><p>Their eyes rolled back, and they had to bite harder, drawing a small drop of blood, to surpress another moan.</p><p>It started with just one. And then another was added, quickly followed by a third. </p><p>And then something bigger. </p><p>Despite their every effort not to, another moan slipped past their lips, low and utterly ruined in tone.</p><p>They were sure somebody heard them that time.</p><p>The first thrust had them seeing stars. </p><p>The second blanked their mind.</p><p>And the third just continued the pattern.</p><p>There were hands caressing their body, pulling them close, tangled in their hair, tracing over their curves. </p><p>A voice whispered in their ear, something they couldn't make out even if they tried. But that tone was so sweet, so loving and affectionate, that they almost came right then and there.</p><p>A pair of lips had captured theirs in a heated kiss, thick with passion and lust. On their side, a faint hint of love was mixed in. </p><p>They couldn't tell if the other had the same.</p><p>Their release drew near as the heat grew stronger, becoming a burning, raging inferno that threatened to swallow them alive. </p><p>They let it.</p><p>Their skin felt on fire in those moments.</p><p>And then the heat became unbearable. It flicked across their skin and singed the tips of their hair, but did not stop. Not even for a second. </p><p>Tears filled their eyes, tears that they were incredibly unwilling to let spill. That would be a cry for pity, and they were not one to let others pity them.</p><p>But it hurt .  .  .</p><p>Another thrust, and Anor was unable to hold back. Wet, hot tears streamed down their face, adding to the destructive, consuming heat. It offered temporary release, a slight break from the flames, but then their escape was gone. </p><p>Their eyes rolled back again as the inferno grew, blazing up just as the fire seemed to calm. </p><p>They were openly sobbing, now, and could faintly hear words of encouragement and praise from the figure above. </p><p>Then the flames stopped.</p><p>A blanket was draped over their sweaty body, and gentle hands wiped at their tear-streaked face. They didn't open their eyes, feeling a kiss on the top of their head. </p><p>"I love you," a voice was saying, though they were too far gone to recognize who it was. "I always have."</p><p>And then they knew nothing more, lost in a dark abyss, swallowed by their mind's strange creations.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Court's Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"I'm alone .  .  .</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>'cause this house don't feel like home .  .  ."</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>They wanted to go home. </p><p> </p><p>Which home? </p><p> </p><p>Fuck if they knew.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>TALKS OF BUYING/SELLING SOMEONE<br/>TALKS OF INSANITY<br/>MENTIONS OF MINOR/ADULT RELATIONSHIP</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They awoke to odd soreness in their muscles, and bruises littering their chest. </p><p>Anor, despite being in mild pain, made no sound as they sat up. They were still naked, and the cold once more bit their exposed skin with incredible force.</p><p>There was an indent in the bed beside where they were laying, but it was empty. Still, the space was warm, and that meant it must be fresh. </p><p>It was then that they noticed the voices from down the hall, and sighed. It was morning, then, and the family was in the Morning Room.</p><p>Rather than go join them, they forced their tired body out of bed, and dragged themself over to where they knew a bathroom was. </p><p>Once there, they managed the strength to run a bath, then sunk into the soapy water. Relief flooded their bones as their exhausted body was soothed by the gentle heat. </p><p>It wasn't like the fire of the night before, no, that had been destructive and uncontrollable. This was calm, sweet and controlled. </p><p>They much preferred this.</p><p>Their hair floated in the water beside them, falling like wet paint over their shoulders.</p><p>When they finally worked up the courage to drain the water and get dressed, they did so with uncharacteristic slowness. </p><p>The door opened, and in stepped Maxim. He didn't seem surprised to see them awake, instead appearing rather glad. "Good, you're up."</p><p>They didn't bother responding, watching curiously as he picked up a brush and began brushing through a few tangles in their hair. </p><p>"I've been called to the Enquiry cells to examine some prisoner they've got, so I figured this would be a good opportunity for you to see the Palace, and more of Caverna. If you're to be involved in the Court more often, it would be good to know the area."</p><p>They nodded, feeling him tie their hair in a tight braid, lightly patting their shoulder. "If you're ready, we'll leave now."</p><p>"Alright."</p><p>As such, they found themself sitting beside Maxim in a carriage two minutes later, watching the streets as they passed. It wasn't that they hadn't seen these people before, nor had they never traveled these streets. But there was something different about it this time. </p><p>They watched in a sort of daze as the carriage slowed to a stop, and they were led out into the world once again. There were servants everywhere, passing by with heads tilted down. They watched, occasionally flashing a reassuring, friendly smile at the ones brave enough to look up. </p><p>Everything glittered and the imagery was so vividly bright that it felt like walking into the morning sun. It was wonderful, and utterly terrifying. </p><p>Because underneath the facade if warmth and openness, was a web of lies, death, and cheating the game in an effort to win. </p><p>Win what, you might ask?</p><p>Nobody knows.</p><p>The two of them were led, together, to a grand, spacious room. In it, people waited silently. Whether it be for orders, or somebody to make a move, was unclear. </p><p>Above it all, the most striking figure in this room of wonder, was a person, scanning the room with one eye open. The other was closed, hidden by a silver mask. </p><p>Anor, despite all their personal training an reassurances, gasped in surprise. The figure's long hair was glassy and white, barely any different from it's skin. </p><p>The one eye that was open, the right, was a startling electric blue. </p><p>They knew who this was. </p><p>Right Eye. </p><p>The cold, ever-logical side of the Grand Steward.</p><p>And as they stared, the singular blue eye came to focus on their face. They maintained an air of calm, keeping their Face level and unchanging. To switch it now would be a show of disrespect, which they could not have. Such an act would cost their life, and possibly the life of Maxim as well. </p><p>Finally, after a silent eternity, he looked away. Maxim glanced at them, and though his Face also remained pleasantly expectant, his eyes held worry. They nodded, a sign that it was fine, they could handle themself. </p><p>He nodded in return, brushing their hair in place. "I'll be back," he whispered, "once I'm done."</p><p>They had no response.</p><p>And then he was gone, leaving them alone, in a room full of painfully silent people, with a man rumored as mad. Before they could say a word, even a polite greeting, Right Eye beat them to it. </p><p>"Who are you?"</p><p>His voice wasn't as cold as they had expected, though there was little trace of warmth within it. It wasn't long before they found their voice, and right in time too. </p><p>"Anor Childersin."</p><p>His Face was bored and neutral, and yet his eye scanned over them just a bit too long. </p><p>They fought the urge to turn on their heels and run. </p><p>As they thought, wrestling with their mind and finally winning, Right Eye suddenly .  .  . Changed. </p><p>It was barely noticeable to the average person, and looked to be normal behavior. But nothing is normal when it comes to the Grand Steward. </p><p>He took of the mask that concealed the left side of his face, revealing that his left eye was now open as well. </p><p>Right Eye and Left Eye were present today. </p><p>This ought to be fun. </p><p>His left hand immediately began making strange gestures, and a few guards stepped forward, towards Anor. They backed away a step or two, confused and fearful. </p><p>Right Eye seized control of Left Eye's hand, stopping its movements. The guards stepped back. "I apologise for my counterpart, he's impulsive at times."</p><p>"It's alright, Your Excellency. I understand."</p><p>He didn't seem to be listening, very suddenly beckoning them closer. Knowing the rules of the Court, as well as knowing that disobedience often ended lives, they did as commanded, taking small steps forward until instructed to stop. </p><p>They were far closer, now, a bit too close for their liking. But they kept that to themself, silent as both glittering blue orbs scanned them again and again, finally looking away after what must have been hours.</p><p>Left Eye gestured to step back, and they did so, returning to their original position with mild confusion.</p><p>It was like this they remained, until Maxim returned. And when he did, they were by his side immediately, thankful for the familiar face among so many strangers. </p><p>He ruffled their hair gently, almost lovingly. And this action, while comforting, also served to further enforce in their mind that he did really love them. He must, if he went through such trouble to make sure they felt reassured and comforted after such an awkward experience. </p><p>It was then that they noticed Right Eye and Maxim were speaking, each responding to the other with a relaxed, paced quickness. </p><p>Once they realized this, they also heard what the conversation was about. And it just had to involve them, huh?</p><p>They really couldn't get a break. </p><p>"Your Excellency, with all due respect, I fail to see why and how doing this would be useful to you."</p><p>"I have my reasons. Do not question me, Childersin. Now, as I was saying, how much would you request?"</p><p>"Well .  .  . Nothing. A person such as yourself needs not pay me for something so simple."</p><p>Right Eye was silent for a long while, and the pause lingered just a bit too long. Just enough to feel very, very strange and uncomfortable.</p><p>Anor listened intently, wondering just who they were talking about. And then Maxim looked to them, only briefly, and they knew. They were talking about them. </p><p>Somehow, they weren't surprised. </p><p>Betrayed and angry, also very afraid, but not particularly surprised. </p><p>They only bothered to listen to bits and pieces of the discourse after that, occasionally glancing up to see if anything had changed in either's Faces.</p><p>They never changed, and that was to be expected. It wasn't uncommon for such an act to be taken as either an insult, or a display of weakness. Neither of which are acceptable within the Court. One could get you killed on the spot, and the other is often likely to coax your enemies into attempting to kill you. </p><p>That can either end very badly on your part, with death, or on theirs. And even if they failed, fixing up after an attempted takedown is never an easy process. </p><p>As such, both kept there Faces the same, expressions steady even as they spoke. There was some hidden message behind their exchange of words, something that Anor probably should've been more concerned about. </p><p>But honestly, they were tired of worrying.</p><p>It didn't matter anyway. </p><p>No matter what there opinion on the matter is, no matter what they think, if the Grand Steward wants something, either side of him, he shall have it. </p><p>That includes people, apparently. And nobody says no to the Grand Steward. Especially not Right Eye, willing to kill in a millisecond if it'll benefit him in any way. </p><p>It's a sick, cruel situation, but one many people have been in over the last five hundred years. And this was sure to continue. </p><p>They sighed, closing their eyes and focusing on their thoughts. </p><p>This was exhausting, if they were being honest. It had been fun initially, seeing the Palace and meeting the servants, as well as getting to talk to the Grand Steward himself, but not anymore. </p><p>They wanted to go home. </p><p>Which home? </p><p>Fuck if they knew. </p><p>One thing they did know, however, was that going back to the Childersin tunnels was virtually impossible at this point. They had been deemed interesting enough to be bought, and would now become a proper member of the Court. </p><p>For what purpose?</p><p>Nobody knows. </p><p>Probably some sort of sick entertainment, or maybe just as another servant to some high-up assistant. </p><p>They didn't know, and they certainly didn't care. </p><p>The Court was turning out to be very strange, and incredibly irritating. </p><p>Their eyes opened as Maxim's warmth slipped away, and they were left alone again. Standing in the cold, silent room, waiting for somebody to say something, or make a move. </p><p>It felt oddly reminiscent of when they first entered, greeted with rows of silent, watching figures. </p><p>Now, they were to wait. </p><p>And find out why.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Learning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"I'm not ready to die,</i>
</p>
<p> <br/>  <i>not yet!"</i></p>
<p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p>
<p>But there was something alluring about the silvery strangeness. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They found themself staring just a bit too often. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes, he'd stare back.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>BLOOD MENTIONS<br/>TALKS OF FEELING TRAPPED<br/>SLIGHTLY POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Living with the Court was strange enough. </p>
<p>Living <i>in</i> the Court proved to be a lot weirder.</p>
<p>There were rules to follow, people to meet, and behaviors to learn. </p>
<p>They weren't a fan. </p>
<p>And yet .  .  . It wasn't all that bad. Not all the time, anyway. They were always assured that they'd be protected, so long as they were within Caverna. </p>
<p>Unlike with the Childersins, they were never left alone. </p>
<p>And to make it worse, they were always with the Grand Steward. Left Eye seemed especially fond of their presence. </p>
<p>For all the oddities of this new world they had been thrust into, there was one instance that stood out as the weirdest.</p>
<p>They had been eating, as usual, when the knife sliced their finger. It wasn't a particularly long or deep cut, and a small amount of blood beaded to the surface. </p>
<p>They hissed in pain, setting down the silverware and lifting their hand to inspect the injury. Before they could do so, a different hand enveloped their own. </p>
<p>They looked up, green meeting blue with a curious expression. They weren't given a chance to speak before their finger was wrapped in heat. They gasped, feeling oddly flustered.</p>
<p>There was no conversation afterwards, Left Eye's silent madness was a comfort this time. </p>
<p>Right Eye was a slightly different story. </p>
<p>His cold indifference was generally bearable enough, if irritating, but on particularly frustrating days being around someone so distant was maddening.</p>
<p>It was safe to say they had Left Eye's favor. Right Eye, maybe not so much. </p>
<p>If you were to ask their opinion on the two, they'd adamantly refuse any affections, and claim the only emotion they felt was hatred. </p>
<p>But there was something alluring about the silvery strangeness. </p>
<p>They found themself staring just a bit too often. </p>
<p>Sometimes, he'd stare back.</p>
<p>The learning process was slow and frustrating, but it was always worth it when they got something correct. </p>
<p>So far they had learnt to never stare either in the eyes unless given explicit permission to do so,</p>
<p>Never eat anything that did not come from the Palace, and even to be cautious when eating there. People have a habit of trying to poison members of the Court,</p>
<p>Only go out when necessary and never alone,</p>
<p>And that if Left Eye flicked his index finger in the air three times in rapid succession, it meant whoever he was pointing at was to be executed immediately.</p>
<p>So they'd say they learnt a fair bit. </p>
<p>But even still .  .  . They wanted to be back at home. It was safe there, they felt loved and protected. </p>
<p>Here, everything was cold. And it was like a jungle, beautiful and strange, the dangers far deadlier than any could ever hope to imagine.</p>
<p>It was terrible, and horrible, and absolutely enchanting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him,</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>so I got myself, a citrus friend."</i>
</p>
<p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p>
<p>They really hadn't been expecting that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And they weren't sure how to feel about it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>MENTIONS OF INSANITY<br/>INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING (STILL NO SMUT, I'M SORRY)<br/>THREATS OF DEATH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You have questions. Ask them and be done with it."</p>
<p>Startled, Anor stuttered as they tried to find the words they had wanted to say for weeks. </p>
<p>Finally, they had it. This was their chance. They opened their mouth, essays worth of words ready to spill with a single command, and all that came out was a pitiful</p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p>The question seemed to genuinely confuse Right Eye, who they were lucky enough to have to deal with all day. He blinked a few times, then, with what might have been a chuckle, responded the same. </p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"I- well .  .  . Why am I here?"</p>
<p>"Because I wanted you to be."</p>
<p>"No, I understand that. But why me, Your Excellency, out of the entirety of Caverna's population?"</p>
<p>He sighed. "It was less of my want and more of Left Eye's. Seeing as he's notorious for being difficult to understand, I'll try translating what he communicated to me."</p>
<p>Despite their efforts to appear nonchalant and uninterested, they awaited a continuation with bright, wide eyes.</p>
<p>"To put it simply, he's very interested in your capabilities. For what, I cannot tell. My counterpart is often too confusing for even me to comprehend."</p>
<p>They nodded, thoroughly shocked. Right Eye was still speaking, however, and they listened with a Face of easy, calm interest.</p>
<p>"Do not think this gains you either of our favor. I cannot say on the part of Left Eye, but you are nothing more than anyone else to me. And if I so chose, you could be dead within a minute."</p>
<p>The very thought sent chills down their spine.</p>
<p>And then his tone calmed, Face still blankly uninterested. "Whether that will continue remains to be seen."</p>
<p>A hand rested on their thigh, and they held back a little gasp at the action.</p>
<p>They really hadn't been expecting that. </p>
<p>But it happened.</p>
<p>And they weren't sure how to feel about it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Nightmares</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>”If I could tell her,</i> </p><p> </p><p>
  <i>tell her everything I see.”</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>They couldn’t-</p><p> </p><p>They had to-</p><p> </p><p>.  .  .</p><p> </p><p>The dagger.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>SEMI-GRAPHIC SELF HARM<br/>SUICIDE ATTEMPT<br/>BLOOD<br/>GORE<br/>PAST RAPE/NON-CON<br/>NIGHTMARES<br/>MENTIONS OF CHARACTER DEATH<br/>HALLUCINATIONS<br/>A BUNCH OF DEAD SIBLING STUFF<br/>CRYING<br/>PANIC ATTACKS<br/>POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH<br/>SWEARING</p><p>
  <b>THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IS POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING. BE CAREFUL, AND KNOW YOUR LIMITS. STAY SAFE.</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the end of the day, Anor was thoroughly worn out.</p><p>They longed to be in the comforting safety of their private quarters, but forced themself to suffer through the remaining two hours. </p><p>Finally, they were dismissed, and promptly left. </p><p>Their first instinct was to flop down on the blankets, curl up, and pass out. But there were a few things that needed checking first. </p><p>Dagger hidden under the pillow? Check.</p><p>Bottles of poison? Check.</p><p>Bottle of Reprise? Also check.</p><p>Everything seemed in order, and they let out a contented, tired sigh.</p><p>Their body felt heavy as they laid down, making sure the door was locked before doing so. After only a minute of being curled up under the covers, they were absolutely knocked out.</p><p>And yet, instead of resting in a peaceful black void, they were very suddenly dreaming. Nothing too special, just walking around a busy cavern. One that they might should have recognized, but really couldn't tell if it was important or not. They were sitting at a table, absentmindedly sipping tea as they watched people pass by. Their eyes focused on two women, watching them with careful eyes. One was shorter than the other, probably a daughter or younger relative of the taller. Anor couldn't hear their voices, though they were indeed speaking, what with the rather loud background noise. </p><p>Their eyes focused on the smaller girl, studying her. She looked familiar, in some vague sense. They felt they should know her, but couldn't figure out from where. Brushing these thoughts aside, they refocused, and for a moment nothing happened. </p><p>There was a rush of colors. </p><p>Women shrieked.</p><p>People covered their childrens' eyes. </p><p>A sickening crack silenced it all. </p><p>The crowd parted, frantically stepping away from a growing pool of scarlet.</p><p>That was when they got to see it. </p><p>The little girl, the one they so desperately wanted to remember, was on the ground. </p><p>Her skull had been split, blood oozing out of the wound. Bits of bone and brain were splattered on the girl's clothes, the older woman's dress, and the wheels of the carriage. </p><p>The woman was sobbing, her Face twisting into one of anger and pain. She did not scream at the man driving the carriage, instead lifting the little girl into her arms. </p><p>The smell was horrid. </p><p>They nearly vomited right then and there.</p><p>Her arm was twisted in an unnatural and painful-looking way, the bones sticking out from the skin. </p><p>She was dead.</p><p>Holy shit, she was dead.</p><p>They could feel the tears sliding down their face, warm and sticky. Everything felt distant and as if it were happening in slow-motion people moving slower and sounds taking longer to match up to their sources.</p><p>And then things started changing.</p><p>Colors swirled together almost like a painting, as their surroundings warped into somewhere new. Somewhere very, very familiar.</p><p>They were standing in an art gallery. In front of them, a few feet away, stood a young child. Strawberry blonde with bright green eyes, their appearances matched almost exactly. They watched the child as they walked around, smiling gently at the cuteness of their excitement. The little blonde was bouncing excitedly while watching the man with them, much older, teach them how to blend colors together in just the right way that you couldn't really tell unless you were looking for it. </p><p>Hands started roaming where they shouldn't, and lips pressed on areas they were never supposed to.</p><p>A timid, unsure voice cried to stop, begged to know what was going on, then went silent. </p><p>Some sick, twisted sense of .  .  . Nostalgia? Hindsight? Whatever it was, it hit them like a truck, bringing tears to their eyes and ripping sobs from their lips. They wanted to look away, they never wanted to see this again. But something in them was frozen in place, and they couldn't move a muscle. </p><p>The child had stopped crying. </p><p>They had not.</p><p>The room was changing again, this time to tunnels they knew well. </p><p>The feeling was solidified by the sight of the large wooden door. </p><p>There were sounds from behind it. </p><p>Anor didn't open the door. </p><p>They heard their own voice, cracking lightly in a high-pitched moan, and rapidly shook their head. </p><p>No.</p><p>No, they didn't want to see this.</p><p>Not now. </p><p>Not ever.</p><p>Their eyes snapped open, and they were back in their cold room in the Palace. </p><p>Tears streamed down their face as they shot up in bed, gasping for air. They couldn't breathe. They needed to breathe.</p><p>They tried closing their eyes, sucking in deep breaths. </p><p>It didn't work. </p><p>Their breathing quickened, and, feeling their vision go fuzzy at the edges, they let out a heart-wrenching sob. </p><p>They couldn’t-</p><p>They had to-</p><p>.  .  .</p><p>The dagger.</p><p>Frantically tossing pillows aside, their hands clasped around the hilt of a dagger. The metal glittered in the faint trap-lantern light, as one of the lanterns sensed their rapid breaths. They didn't even stare at it, digging the blade into the skin of their arm. </p><p>It sliced through their skin like butter, not deep, not for very long. But just enough that blood dripped and dripped and wouldn't stop. </p><p>They didn't care.</p><p>This wasn't working either.</p><p>A glitter out of the corner of their eye snatched their attention over to the shelf beside their bed. </p><p>The poison.</p><p>Before they could do anything, be it grab a bottle or turn away to tend to their arm, a figure sat at the edge of their bed. </p><p>That little girl, looking much older somehow.</p><p>Their sister.</p><p>"E-Europa?"</p><p>She smiled, swinging her legs boredly. "That's me."</p><p>"You're .  .  . You're here?"</p><p>"Course I am! What kind of sister would I be if I wasn't here with you when you die?"</p><p>They blinked, only mildly grounded by the blood still running down their arm. </p><p>"You're dead."</p><p>Europa's grin widened, as her Face changed to a much more loving and sisterly one. "Am I?"</p><p>"I-I saw it. You died."</p><p>Crawling over, she draped her arms around their neck, head resting on their shoulder. She was behind them, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that her hands were cold. And when she pressed closer, they couldn't feel a pulse. "You're right," she purred, "I'm dead."</p><p>"But you're not, Anor. And that's, well," she paused, fingers curling around one of the bottles, "that's a little bit of a problem, don't you think?"</p><p>They didn't argue, watching her warily. </p><p>She handed them the bottle, and they shivered at the coldness of the glass container.</p><p>"Go on, drink it."</p><p>"W-what the fuck?!"</p><p>"You heard me, drink it."</p><p>"Why the hell would I do that?!" They wouldn't admit it, but dying sounded awfully pleasant right about now. It'd save them from dealing with the Court's games. And maybe Caverna would be willing to let them go, if they were the one to choose their death.</p><p>"To be with me."</p><p>They didn't have a response, staring at the bottle again. It was too dark to read the label, and honestly they didn't care what it was. Everything they had was strong enough to kill them within the hour. </p><p>She kept her sisterly grin, very suddenly heating up. And it was like being held by a person. An alive, not dead person.</p><p>"Go ahead. Drink it, and we don't have to worry about any of this."</p><p>Not thinking, or maybe they were, they pulled the stopper and downed as much as they could handle. Which was a fair bit.</p><p>Europa tangled her fingers in their hair, breathing in and letting out a gentle sigh. "Your hair smells like lavender, did you know that?"</p><p>They didn't answer, dizzy with fear and anticipation. </p><p>"I wonder how long it'll take for someone to find you. Probably not that long, most people here wake up in about thirty minutes, yes?"</p><p>They nodded.</p><p>She purred, snuggling closer. And though they should hate it, though they should feel absolutely repulsed and disgusted by the very thought of what was going on, they leaned into the touch. </p><p>It was soft.</p><p>Europa was soft. </p><p>They had missed her.</p><p>Their eyes closed, breathing slowing.</p><p>Europa stayed, their head resting in her lap. </p><p>The door was cracked open. </p><p>They heard what might have been a voice. </p><p>Then .  .  . nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Alive?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"Hey, hey!</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>My heart's beating when I'm hanging out with you!"</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>Panicked arguing.</p><p> </p><p>Quiet apologies.</p><p> </p><p>Something was wrong.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>HALLUCINATIONS<br/>AFTERMATH OF SUICIDE ATTEMPT<br/>MORE DEAD SISTER IMAGERY<br/>COMA-LIKE SCENARIOS<br/>POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH<br/>POISON MENTIONS<br/>SLIGHT MENTIONS OF INCEST(VERY BRIEF)<br/>MENTIONS OF INSANITY<br/>MANIPULATION<br/>EUROPA BEING A REALLY SHITTY SISTER<br/>FAILED SUICIDE</p><p>
  <b>THIS IS ANOTHER POSSIBLY TRIGGERING CHAPTER. IT ISN'T AS BAD AS THE ONE BEFORE, BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL. KNOW YOUR LIMITS, AND STAY SAFE.</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their lips were dry.</p><p>A sweet taste lingered in their mouth.</p><p>Some uncomfortable throbbing echoed through their body, unpleasant yet indescribable.</p><p>They tried to move, reaching to massage their throat, and found no response was given. Their hand hadn't moved. </p><p>If it had, they couldn't see it. </p><p>Or feel it, funnily enough.</p><p>It was dark.</p><p>Why was it so dark?</p><p>Did somebody forget to feed the trap-lanterns?</p><p>The thought made them chuckle, yet no sound reached their ears.</p><p>They didn't understand, and what made it worse was the horrid fuzziness in their mind. They could barely think, if at all, feeling entirely dull and frozen. </p><p>Finally, after a painfully boring time filled with silence and confusion, they heard  .  .  . things.</p><p>Panicked arguing.</p><p>Quiet apologies.</p><p>Something was wrong.</p><p>But they didn't know what.</p><p>"My lady, if I may-" a soft voice began, gentle and so quiet it was like the person was speaking in brackets. They could barely hear them, even when they really tried.</p><p>"No, no, there isn't time for this!" Another soft voice, with the faintest hints of anger. "What will His Excellency think when he discovers what has happened? He'll surely accuse us both of poisoning the poor dear!"</p><p>"And what of their condition? It's been two days and they haven't awoken, are we sure they're alive?"</p><p>"Yes, they're well enough alive. We're lucky His Excellency has been busy with the banquet, it's bought us decent time."</p><p>"Quiet!" A new voice. Firmer, more assertive. "They're moving."</p><p>And indeed they were. It was a small movement, a light twitch of their index finger. But it was a sign. </p><p>Anor was awake.</p><p>Their eyes flitted open and they sat up, groaning. Everything felt hazy, like they had just woken up from a really long dream. They didn't speak, they couldn't speak.</p><p>Their throat prickled, like some forgotten sense of pain was seeping back into it, and they were remembering how it was supposed to feel.</p><p>Finally, they could see. </p><p>And it was so, so bright. </p><p>They squeezed their eyes shut, rubbing their temples. Harsh coughs wracked their body, and a hand settled on their shoulder. They scrambled away from it, hands raised in defense. The brightness faded after a while, enough that they could see the person trying to console them.</p><p>An impassive, order-ready Face.</p><p>A light, simple dress.</p><p>A soft, apologetic voice.</p><p>One of the servants.</p><p>They looked around a little bit more, spotting physician and .  .  . Europa?!</p><p>Same strawberry blonde hair.</p><p>Same green eyes.</p><p>Same pale, freckled skin. </p><p>And yet .  .  . Europa didn't smile like that. Her smiles were bright and sunny and full of joy, not politely obedient.</p><p>But she looked so similar to their lost sister.</p><p>It brought a light blush to their face.</p><p>They weren't sure why.</p><p>The servant woman raised a hand, but didn't bring it closer. They were oddly thankful. </p><p>She spoke in a voice so soft, so sweet, it seemed to wrap its arms around them like a mother would a crying child. Comforting, gentle, loving. "Are you aware of your surroundings?"</p><p>They looked around, spotting white bed-sheets, a shelf that they knew should hold poison, but that was empty, and a full-length mirror. </p><p>Their bedroom.</p><p>They nodded, looking back towards the woman. Her Face hadn't changed, but she had backed away slightly. </p><p>The only thing they could think of was to ask a question that had been on their mind since they awoke. </p><p>"W- .  .  . Why're you in my room?"</p><p>"I- uh .  .  . Sweetheart, you've been in a coma for two days."</p><p>They blinked, startled and incredibly confused. "No, I .  .  . haven't?"</p><p>She leaned back, sighing. "Let me ask you something different, so we don't confuse you too much. What do you last remember?"</p><p>"I was .  .  . sitting in my bedroom. Holding a bottle, I think I drank it."</p><p>"You did. Do you remember what the bottle was?"</p><p>".  .  . No. But it hurt to drink it."</p><p>She sighed, running a hand through her ash-black hair. "It was poison, dear. You .  .  . We think you tried to commit suicide."</p><p>They didn't respond for a long while, finally nodding. "I did."</p><p>"Ah, I see .  .  . Are you willing to speak more on it, or would you rather leave the subject alone?"</p><p>".  .  . I don't want to say anything. I'll talk about why when I'm ready, but I- .  .  . Don't think I can right now."</p><p>They were both silent for a while, until Anor sighed. "I wish to be alone, please leave my bedroom."</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>She left, gesturing for the other two to follow.</p><p>They did.</p><p>And the minute the door was closed, another figure appeared. </p><p>Ah, there she was.</p><p>Anor looked away, even as Europa pouted playfully. "C'mon, don't ignore me. You know you missed me."</p><p>"You're dead, and I'm probably just imaging that you're here. How could I miss you?"</p><p>"Because you looooove me~"</p><p>"That I do, Europa .  .  . That I do."</p><p>She grinned, tackling them in a tight hug. "I knew it! You do love me! Oh, it's so good to see you, you know that, right?"</p><p>They couldn't help but smile, feeling oddly glad for her company. Not that she was particularly pleasant at times, but it was nice to have somebody familiar instead of so many few faces. </p><p>And then she frowned. "I thought you said you'd be with me. But you're still alive, and I'm still alone. Why?"</p><p>"I .  .  . I tried, you know. I tried and it didn't work, that's not my fault."</p><p>"But it is. You didn't lock the door."</p><p>"I thought I did, I'm sorry."</p><p>"You lied to me, Anor. You said you'd die so we could be together and I wouldn't have to be lonely anymore."</p><p>"Europa .  .  . I didn't mean to lie. I drank the poison, it was one of my strongest bottles. It should've killed me, I'm sorry it didn't."</p><p>She hummed nonchalantly, pulling away and shrugging. "Oh well, there's always next time. Or maybe someone'll try to kill you during the banquet."</p><p>They didn't seem to care about the implications of her words, now wondering if maybe, she could fill the gap in their memory.</p><p>"The .  .  . The servants said I was asleep for two days. Is that true, do you know what happened while I was asleep?"</p><p>"Nope! I don't know a thing."</p><p>"Oh .  .  . "</p><p>She ruffled their hair, laying down. </p><p>"Your bed's really comfortable."</p><p>They laid beside her, staring at the ceiling even as her fingers intertwined with theirs. </p><p>Her hands were cold again.</p><p>A chill ran down their spine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Ganderblack Wine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>"So much to say,</i> </p><p> </p><p>
  <i>but don't be here to stay!"</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>The purple stain spread and spread, staining the white fabric like blood does bed-sheets, but that wasn't what their eyes were trained upon.</p><p> </p><p>Why was her Face doing that?</p><p> </p><p>They could see her expression, now, and it filled them with horror. Her Face was one of regret, anger, despair, rebellion, pride, and hope.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>BLOOD MENTIONS<br/>FOOD MENTIONS<br/>UNDERAGE ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION<br/>MILD INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR<br/>DRUNKEN CONFESSIONS OF LOVE<br/>POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH<br/>HALLUCINATION MENTIONS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three days later, Anor found themself very rudely awoken, thrust into a thorough morning routine. </p><p>It took a moment for them to process what this meant, but once they did, they let it all happen without protest.</p><p>Today was the banquet.</p><p>How exciting!</p><p>Everyone who was anyone would attend, including old friends and new faces. People would be making debuts, eating True Delicacies, and plotting to kill their rivals. They hadn't attended one of these since childhood, and were looking forward to seeing what all would happen. No doubt, at least one person would end up dead.</p><p>They'd never admit it, but they were having great fun betting with some Courtiers on who would be first targeted, and how.</p><p>Nobody could decide who would be the first to die, but the largest bet was on the work of the Zookeeper.</p><p>They agreed.</p><p>Their hair was trimmed, styled, lightly fluffed for aesthetics, and pinned out of their face. They were dressed in silvery attire, their own choice dress, and light gloss was applied to their lips. </p><p>Anor knew the rules of the banquet by heart. They had planned and readied for these since the day they could walk, and had made sure to regularly practice and go over them, just in case. </p><p>Now, that training was coming in handy.</p><p>Face locked in a smile of politeness and anticipation, a sort of dinner smile that said 'I'm excited to be here, you're wonderful people and the food is amazing', Anor's deep green eyes scanned the room, flickering from the statue-like guards to the doorway and everything in-between. Their stride did not break even as they looked around, they had a destination to reach and by God they were gonna get there in record time, or die trying.</p><p>They reached the sedan, grateful for the familiarity. Today, they were greeted with Right Eye's cold gaze, and suppressed a long sigh. They much preferred Left Eye, strange and mad as he may be, at least he was challenging to figure out. Right Eye, though fair, had a little habit of ignoring almost everything they said.</p><p>Absolutely infuriating.</p><p>It was quite interesting, sitting next to the Grand Steward. They were almost the same height, with Anor just <i>slightly</i> shorter and growing every day. It made the man seem almost  .  .  . Normal, in some strange way, like he was just another person you'd walk past without a second thought.</p><p>The effect was spoiled by the glassy shine of, well, pretty much all of him. </p><p>There were no conversations to be had this time, just pleasant, comfortable silence.</p><p>At least there would have been, had Right Eye not addressed them halfway through. </p><p>"You're hiding something."</p><p>Startled, they looked over, maintaining their polite expression. "I-" They paused, halfway through saying 'I'm not hiding anything'. There were rules to follow for both halves of the Grand Steward's mind. One of the fundamental rules when speaking to Right Eye was 'never lie'. Honesty granted a longer explanation period, therefore allowing for more o the story to be heard, and on occasion has prevented sentencing altogether.</p><p>Finally, they sighed, changing their sentence a little. "It was not my intention to hide anything, Your Excellency."</p><p>They could only hope that was the right response. </p><p>It appeared to be, as the answer they received was not one of harshness or anger, not even some sense of disgust. It was entirely bland and almost bored-sounding. </p><p>"Speak it, then."</p><p>Now that was a bit of a problem, as they weren't keen on having, well, anyone know about what happened days prior, even if it was important to share. They weren't ready for that, they didn't want to share.</p><p>But this was the Grand Steward they were speaking to, and one cannot withhold information for very long.</p><p>"I- well .  .  . I keep poison in my private quarters, you are aware of this."</p><p>"Yes, I am. Hurry up, do not waste time."</p><p>Right, right. Another rule. 'Never waste words'. They had nearly forgotten.</p><p>".  .  . I drank the strongest bottle."</p><p>For the first time, they saw a flash of shock in his cold eyes. But then it was gone, though they really didn't mind. "How long ago was this?"</p><p>"Five days, Your Excellency."</p><p>"Very well," he was no longer looking at them, and they tilted their head ever so slightly. But Right Eye did not continue, and they settled into silence as well. </p><p>Soon, they arrived.</p><p>The banquet locations were always the most exciting part, other than the deaths. </p><p>Today, a pristine, glittering floor stared at them, reflecting the ceiling above. Only when a ripple echoed across its surface did they realize it was entirely made of water, and they suppressed an elated laugh. Oh, this was sure to be fun.</p><p>Waterfalls cascaded down some of the walls, and they were led to sit behind the largest of them, safe from the view of those below, but able to stare through the rushing liquid.</p><p>Servants rushed like ants, adding finishing touches to the tables and readying the Wines. </p><p>The earliest guests arrived, Cartographers by the looks of it. The servants leading them to their seats all wore earplugs. A smart move, considering it was the only thing keeping them sane.</p><p>Anor had never been a fan of Cartographers. Maddening little creatures that always seemed, to them, barely human. But they were crucial to Caverna's survival, and really quite important. As such, they had been invited with the rest, but were seated a good ways away, entirely out of earshot.</p><p>Two Facesmith sisters arrived next, followed by a slender woman with a heart-shaped face, and slanted green eyes.</p><p>Vesperta Appleline. </p><p>They hadn't seen her in quite a while.</p><p>It wasn't entirely pleasant, getting to do so now.</p><p>She wore one of her Tragedy Range Faces, a gentle smile that spoke of hidden secrets, untold love, and pain suppressed just long enough to make it through one more story.</p><p>Very pretty, a good quality Face.</p><p>There were little other noteworthy appearances, until a family of tall, brightly dressed blondes made their arrival.</p><p>The Childersins.</p><p>Seeing them brought memories rushing back, and Anor gripped their arm to ground themself. They weren't there anymore. That time was gone, none of them cared about them anymore.</p><p>Among them was a lanky, fidgeting red-headed little girl with hair that slipped and fell like paint, dressed in nice enough clothing that fit the occasion well. She did not turn to face their way, and as such they didn't get to see the Face she was wearing. Surely, if she were with the Childersin family, it was one of the best.</p><p>Food was served and conversations started, and then, not even halfway through, the real fun began.</p><p>A man slumped forward in his chair, dead. Sharp eyes would notice the bird flitting around his ears moments before, a clear sign of the Zookeeper's work. Trained animals, poison, it was all his signature design.</p><p>They smiled just a bit brighter, mood thoroughly lifted.</p><p>A True Wine was brought out, one from the Ganderblack family. They quite liked these, the Wines were just the right balance of aggressive and willing to submit, and were often a good deal more intense than Wines from other families. Just a little of a Ganderblack Wine could render someone with a low tolerance entirely drunk in seconds, and they very much enjoyed that aspect of them.</p><p>They lifted the glass to their lips, taking a long sip before sighing contentedly. Right as they set it down, a loud 'thunk' sounded out. </p><p>Their eyes snapped down, landing on the red-head from before.</p><p>She had spilled the Wine.</p><p>The purple stain spread and spread, staining the white fabric like blood does bed-sheets, but that wasn't what their eyes were trained upon.</p><p>Why was her Face doing that?</p><p>They could see her expression, now, and it filled them with horror. Her Face was one of regret, anger, despair, rebellion, pride, and hope. </p><p>They found themself unable to look away, watching as more emotions flickered across it. Joy, realization, fear.</p><p>Like glass, everything was reflected upon it. </p><p>How?</p><p>Faces don't do that.</p><p>They weren't supposed to look like that.</p><p>They ripped their eyes away, faintly hearing her hurried exit. </p><p>The Childersins had messed up this time.</p><p>Surely, someone wouldn't leave alive.</p><p>Desperate to suppress their growing thoughts of despair, they downed the rest of their glass, keeping their polite dinner Face all the while. Almost immediately, their mind felt fuzzy. </p><p>Good.</p><p>That was better than feeling so utterly crushed and despaired, anything was better than that. </p><p>They watched through hazy, unsure eyes as the servants hurriedly wheeled out the next True Delicacy. The Stackfalter Sturton, ready to make its debut. Everyone prepared themselves with what they could only hope were suitable Faces, and all waited in silence and anticipation.</p><p>The dish cover was lifted, and up sprang a short, stocky figure covered from head to toe in plated metal armor. </p><p>The figure barely cast a glance around them, dashing into the lagoon and sinking under the water. </p><p>Whoever it was did not emerge.</p><p>Startled and not quite in their right mind, Anor blinked rapidly, thoroughly confused.</p><p>They thought at first that they had merely been hallucinating, that seemed a habit recently, but from the surprised Faces of those around them, that did not seem to be the case. </p><p>It had not hit them yet, but they instinctively knew that even a True Cheese was unlikely to produce such a spectacle. And while they sat in their confusion, trying to force their mind to think properly, the other watchers were coming to the same realization.</p><p>Anor did not know it, they were too far gone to put that much thought into it, but the famed criminal The Kleptomancer had struck once again, this time with a theft far greater.</p><p>He had stolen not only something precious, but from the Grand Steward himself.</p><p>The banquet ended early that day, and they sat in a dizzy stupor as they were led back up the way they came. </p><p>There was something silver, glittering and beautiful, sitting next to them. </p><p>It looked down at them, and they were met with crystalline blue, staring into their very soul and looking into every part of them, even the ones they hid away from the world. </p><p>They did not notice that the mask had changed, now sitting over the right side of the figure's face rather than the left.</p><p>There was an aura of otherworldly grace, and the only thing that crossed their mind was that this being must be a God. </p><p>The faint sound of a door opening slipped through their haze, but the crack was sealed by a cold hand setting on their shoulder. Their cheeks flushed as they giggled, dizzy with affection and entirely detached from their actions. </p><p>They'd regret it in the morning, perhaps, but for now had no time to worry about such trivial matters. </p><p>The hand pulled them somewhere, and they were led to what their mind perceived as a grand room, filled with simple yet elegant colors and swirling patterns that did not quite make sense, but that they adored nonetheless. Maybe they would have been less open and vulnerable, had they been able to quite comprehend where they were. </p><p>But as it stands, they could not. </p><p>Words slipped past their lips in whispered strings, an unfiltered stream of every thought they had buried down, everything they had wanted to say. </p><p>Among these, the words 'I'm in love' were nestled, right before 'with you'. </p><p>Despite how desperately they wished to deny these drunken confessions, they could not do so without branding themself a liar. </p><p>It was wrong.</p><p>Twisted, sick, and wrong.</p><p>But they couldn't care less. </p><p>It felt too good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Warm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"You'll be back,<i></i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>"soon you'll see."</i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Hands gripped their wrists, seizing their freckled skin in a bruising grip.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Droplets of blood ran from the discolored marks on their neck and shoulders.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>They didn't bother holding back the noises anymore.</i>
  </i>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>BLOOD<br/>BITING<br/>NON-GRAPHIC SEX<br/>DUB-CON<br/>INTOXICATED SEX<br/>MINOR/ADULT RELATIONSHIP<br/>SLIGHT DYSPHORIA<br/>MENTIONS OF UNDERAGE ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION<br/>FIRE MENTIONS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How did things end up like this?</p><p>How did they end up laying on their back on a soft, fluffed surface?</p><p>How did they not fight back?</p><p>Why were they letting their clothes fall from their thin frame?</p><p>And why was it so enjoyable?</p><p>They didn't have an answer, but then again, they didn't need one. The warmth was enough. All they needed was to keep feeling so warm. </p><p>It wasn't the same as the raging, burning inferno of the past, nor was it the soft, gentle current of heat than ran through their veins. This was rushed, heated and passionate, full of everything they wanted and everything they dreaded. </p><p>It was like candlelight, in these early stages, flickering across their skin almost teasingly, whispering promises of a time they wouldn't soon forget.</p><p>Silver fabric slipped away, revealing pale, unmarked skin splattered with large patches of little brown dots, smooth as the rest of them and entirely unraised.</p><p>Cold hands traced across these patches, the startling temperature change shocking them enough to give a little shiver, their body trembling slightly. </p><p>The hands did not stop, tapping lightly in silent amusement. It was slow, too slow, and their impatience quickly began to overcome their embarrassment.</p><p>Their hips rolled up as the fingers reached their thighs, a long whine drawing from their throat. It was with great effort that they calmed their body, settling down again, their impatience now clear. </p><p>Mind fuzzy as ever, unclear and entirely content, their thoughts filled with images of what could be done next. Of what they could do, of what the figure above them would do. </p><p>They could not settle on a proper answer.</p><p>Maybe that was for the best. </p><p>Eyes dating to crack open, their curiosity was rewarded by a fleeting moment of clarity. For a split second, they saw things as they truly were.</p><p>Unfortunately, that second was not enough time to understand what they saw.</p><p>And once the blurry haze returned, they settled, body relaxing instantaneously.</p><p>The hands resumed their roaming, tracing their face and scars and entire body until returning to between their legs. They could not entirely feel, the Wine had numbed a good number of their senses, but what they could sense was pure bliss. </p><p>And then something new. </p><p>A sharp pain echoed through their body, beginning at their .  .  . Shoulder?</p><p>Once more daring to open their eyes, they were met with a deep purple, circular mark, resting near the base of their neck. They did not bother pondering it further, as their attention was grabbed by another odd feature of their body.</p><p>One that couldn't be hidden with makeup, one that wouldn't dare after time.</p><p>Their chest was not often a source of discomfort for Anor, and in fact they often joked about the fact that there were some men present in the Court with larger breasts than them. </p><p>But as they saw them today, something in their mind recoiled in disgust, and they squeezed their eyes shut. </p><p>Thankfully, those nice feelings were coming back, though they had enough of a mind to bite their lip in an effort to stifle the noise.</p><p>More pain.</p><p>Good pain. </p><p>The kind they liked.</p><p>There was uncomfortable silence, something they would have picked up on had it not been for their mind's insistence on ignoring the outside world in favor of their own little reality. </p><p>Hands gripped their wrists, seizing their freckled skin in a bruising grip.</p><p>Droplets of blood ran from the discolored marks on their neck and shoulders.</p><p>They didn't bother holding back the noises anymore.</p><p>What was the point, when nobody was around to hear them? It was only them and the silvery figure, and they knew the figure wouldn't care how much noise there was.</p><p>Their arms circled around a cold neck, the pristine skin feeling unnatural yet comforting under their touch.</p><p>When it all ended, warm liquid filling their insides, their eyes rolled back and they lost consciousness. </p><p>There was still no actual speaking even as their body was gently wrapped in something soft and fluffy, enveloping their tired frame like silk. They were barely awake as arms snaked around their waist, pulling then close. </p><p>They passed out, then, and could not be bothered to wake.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"Wish we could turn back time,</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>to the good old days."</i>
</p><p>꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎</p><p>They took a moment, then, to go over what they remembered of the night before.</p><p> </p><p>Not much, it seemed. </p><p> </p><p>There was the banquet, then a girl spilt Wine, and then .  .  . Nothing.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS;<br/>MENTIONS OF INTOXICATED SEX<br/>MENTIONS OF MINOR/ADULT RELATIONSHIP<br/>EUROPA<br/>MENTIONS OF PAST CHARACTER DEATH<br/>MENTIONS OF INCEST<br/>FEELINGS OF ABANDONMENT<br/>MENTIONS OF WEAPONRY<br/>MENTIONS OF SWORDFIGHTING</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They awoke to silence, familiar and cold. </p><p>Pain shot through their head as they moved to sit up, causing a hiss of pain to emerge from their throat. </p><p>Their legs hurt, but they paid the irritation no mind, focusing on being able to sit upright without almost passing out. </p><p>Finally, they propped up their elbows on pillows, and could actually see. They were not in their own quarters, as expected, but we're instead in a vaguely familiar area. </p><p>They didn't bother wondering where exactly this was, not quite caring. It was pretty, quiet, and warm. There wasn't much else they needed. </p><p>For some unexplained reason, Anor felt there was supposed to be someone laying beside them. Who that might be remained a mystery, their mind seemed intent on keeping it from them.</p><p>When they turned their head to the side, however, they were greeted with an empty space. </p><p>Well, mostly empty. </p><p>Sitting in the place where a figure should be, was a small tray of food and drink, with a note. </p><p>'All substances have been tested by multiple food tasters, all are safe to consume.'</p><p>The note was written in unfamiliar handwriting, sleek and elegant, looping almost like cursive. They smiled, making a mental note to thank whoever had brought this tray, should they find out. </p><p>The silver tray held a simple breakfast, biscuits and strawberries being their first picks to eat. </p><p>They took a moment, then, to go over what they remembered of the night before.</p><p>Not much, it seemed. </p><p>There was the banquet, then a girl spilt Wine, and then .  .  . Nothing.</p><p>Strange.</p><p>They had no memory after the Wine was spilt. Not even their reaction to the act was entirely clear. </p><p>They were halfway through making a second mental reminder, and moving on to their third biscuit, when the bed dipped slightly. </p><p>Barely glancing over, they smiled at the sight of Europa, swinging her legs and humming. "You took forever to wake up, Anor. I'm surprised it's still morning."</p><p>"Good morning to you too, sister."</p><p>And that had her smiling in a way they had never seen before. </p><p>"It is a good morning, isn't it?" She stalked over, footsteps silent on the carpeted flooring. "Since you get to see me. And we both know how much you <i>love</i> being with me."</p><p>She was sitting next to them, though they seemed entirely unbothered. Neither of them spoke for a while, and they twirled a lock of hair around their finger. </p><p>"You know," Anor began, changing the subject, "I can't remember anything of last night. My memory blanks after the Ganderblack Wine is spilt. Do you know why?"</p><p>"Sure I do. You were drunk."</p><p>They snorted, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, what?"</p><p>"Yep. Got yourself drunk and had sex with someone, that's what happened."</p><p>"Well .  .  . Do you know who I did it with?"</p><p>"Left Eye?" </p><p>Her blunt reply had them blushing red, bright as a flower and embarrassed out of their mind. "Oh."</p><p>For a moment, they both settled into silence. Europa contented herself with wandering around the room, while Anor mused over what they had been told. It wasn't particularly surprising. A bit shocking to be sure, but nothing major.</p><p>Honestly, they were mainly surprised they didn't remember any of it. But intoxication does that to you, they supposed. And it did often have similar effects to memory surpressing Wines. </p><p>They were only snapped out of their thinking when Europa decided to speak up. "Have you ever tried swordfighting?"</p><p>They kept their eyebrow raised, confused and mildly interested by her sudden question. "No? I haven't, as far as I know."</p><p>"You should. It's apparently very fun, and a great way to relieve stress if you're having a hard time."</p><p>"I don't see how hitting things with a blade would help anyone be less stressed."</p><p>"It's better than sleeping with people, Anor."</p><p>They were silent after that. She made a good argument, and besides, they weren't in the mood to talk about their rather unhealthy coping mechanisms. </p><p>Is it fucked up, what they do? Absolutely, no denying that.</p><p>Do they care? Hell no.</p><p>Even still, Europa was incredibly convincing, and they were never one to say no to her anyway. So they just nodded, continued eating, and listened. </p><p>"Someone's holding classes soon, I think, for beginners. You should go, it'll be good to at least know how to use a sword if you ever need to."</p><p>Setting down their glass, they sighed, thinking over the options. On one hand, self defense. Learning how to wield a blade would be very useful if they found themself in a fight, or without the palace protection. </p><p>The Court is a dangerous place, after all, and even with the palace staff on their side, it is not enough to rely solely on others. </p><p>But on the other hand, it would require them giving up a lot of their time, something they didn't currently have available. Their entire schedule was packed most days, and when it wasn't, they needed a break. </p><p>For a long, long time they thought, before finalizing their decision. "Alright, I'll take one class and see if it's worth anything. If I decide it isn't worth sticking around for, I won't pursue it further. Deal?"</p><p>She grinned, taking their hand. </p><p>"Deal."</p>
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